HOW TO FIND JOY AND CONTENTMENT AS A SINGLE GIRL.

I find myself often, as a single young woman, going through seasons or times or moments of feeling very discouraged and lonely and discontent and sometimes I feel my depressing creeping in.

It’s an every day thing- I go on social media, and I see a new friend of mine is engaged. Or someone is having a baby. Or they have a new boyfriend or girlfriend. All of my close friends who I grew up with are having these incredible experiences, and I’m so beyond happy for them, but I can’t help but stop and ask; “Lord, when is it going to be my turn?”

Perhaps you live in a very small town, or you go to a small church like I do, and you don’t know of any guys who aren’t in a relationship or who would be a good fit for you. I understand. Every guy at my church is married or engaged, or too young for me.

I have had one boyfriend. I was eight years old. I have never had a relationship that truly meant something.

I fell in love two years ago, and I watched as the guy I adored moved from girl to girl. He dated my cousin, one of my best friends, and that destroyed my heart for a long time. Now, he has a son and he’s getting married.

I’ll be honest. I lost faith and my hope disappeared when I found out he was going to have a child. I had this fantasy- I was going to marry my first love, and we would be happy together forever. When I found out that would never happen; I believed I would be single for my whole life. I was crushed.

I have recently found something that can take away my discomfort, and loneliness, and can make me feel peaceful and joyful and so satisfied with my life.

I think of the beautiful stories that I was told as a child. How our God created the Earth and everything upon it. How he parted the red sea. How he helped David defeat Goliath. How he saved us all from spending an eternity in Hell. If he can do such incredible things, such impossible things, he can bring me a life partner.

When the time is right, God is going to give me a husband. He is so large. He is so good. I will have faith, I will put all of my trust in him, and I will wait. And I will be joyful as I wait.

xoxo, Megan

I HAVE A YOUTUBE CHANNEL?!

It’s true!

I’ve been wanting to make a YouTube channel for so many years, but I never felt like it was a good time. I kept telling myself; when I lose weight, I’ll do it. When I have more time, I’ll do it. When my life gets more interesting, I’ll do it. But, I came to the realization that there’s never going to be a “perfect” time – so I finally went with my gut, filmed a video, and uploaded it.

Go watch my introduction video, and leave me some love in the comments! I can’t wait to hear from each and every one of you.

xoxo, Megan

 

A CHANGE.

Martha’s Granddaughter is so special to me. When I lost my grandma in 2016, I created this blog and used it as a bit of a release. It gave me something to do, something to put my time towards, so I didn’t sit around and think about the weight in my chest constantly. Martha’s Granddaughter brought me such joy and peace during one of the most difficult trials I’ve ever been through, and I will forever love it for that.

However, as I’ve grown and changed in the year since her death, I’ve come to realize that the name Martha’s Granddaughter doesn’t fit the theme of the blog I’m going for now. I don’t see this as a release anymore. I don’t view this blog as being my escape from reality.

I have anxiety, and I very often fear change. At the same time, I (not-so-often) crave change. I need something new and different and exciting to keep me going. So, that’s why I decided to change the name of this blog to Megan Witt.

I’m going to continue to write about my life, and my love of books, and God, and my future. I’m preparing to go to college in Tennessee next year; I’ll write about that a lot. I sincerely hope you stick around and go on this crazy journey with me.

xoxo, Megan

 

TRUSTING GOD IN THE MIDST OF A STORM!

Recently, I read this quote; “God will ALWAYS give us more than WE can handle. But He will never give us more than HE can handle.

First, I was diagnosed with a little something called Sinus Tachycardia. Basically, my heart doesn’t always do what it should.

Then, I was diagnosed with very severe Sleep Apnea. I was told that I stopped breathing fifty-seven times an hour, every hour, every night. Apparently, I’m lucky to be alive. I’ve been trying (and failing) to learn to sleep with a CPAP (Continuous Positive Airway Pressure) machine for the last month.

I was dealing with severe abdominal pain last month, and I had to have an Upper Endoscopy so my Gastroenterologist could find out what was causing me to suffer.

And most recently, I was diagnosed with Migraines and High Blood Pressure.

If that sounds like a lot, that’s because it is. But, I have so much to thank Jesus for.

I could have died a long time ago because of my Sleep Apnea. My heart disorder could have been much more severe; I could’ve had a heart attack, as they run in my family. I’m not healthy, and I’m struggling, but I don’t have cancer. I’m not fighting for my life.

Even when my life is hard, and I wish some things were different, I have so much to thank my God for. He is good. He is worthy of my praise.

It took me a long time to learn to lean on Him in the midst of the storm. It wasn’t an easy mountain to overcome. How did I do it?

  1. I read the Bible, even when I didn’t want to.
  2. I prayed every day, even when I felt as though I had been robbed of every last bit of my faith.
  3. I listened to worship music.
  4. I listened to other people’s testimonies and learned from their struggles.
  5. Most importantly: I DIDN’T GIVE UP.

If I can do it, so can you. It takes effort, and it isn’t always a walk in the park, but it’s worth it in the end. If you lean on God, and you live for Him, then He will see you through any trial you face.

How do you keep your faith strong even in the midst of the storm? I would love to hear about it!

xoxo, Megan

QUICK UPDATE!

I’m very sick. I don’t know if it’s the flu, or bronchitis, or something else entirely, but I do know that I feel like (excuse my language) absolute hell.

I’ve been reading, and writing, and reading some more. I have a goodreads account that you can befriend me on if you love books as much as I do!!

I’m doing okay in regards to my anxiety. I haven’t left the house in a few weeks. I’ll be seeing my therapist in a few days and that should help. Here’s some advice – don’t do what I do. Don’t stay in the house when you feel like crap. Don’t push your family and friends away. Don’t reschedule therapy sessions three weeks in a row. Suck it up, so what you need to do, and you’ll feel much better. Let’s hope I’ll listen to my own advice some day soon!

I can’t wait for Autumn. I went on vacation for the first time in three years, and I got my first tattoo. That’s pretty much the only good that’s happened in my life this summer. Are any of you excited for Fall? Haunted hayrides, scary movies, cool weather, Halloween! So many good things. So much to look forward to.

I’ll be focusing more on this blog from now moving forward. & I promise, my next most will be much more exciting than this one.

I hope you all are doing well! Sending you all the love, happiness, and health this nasty world has to offer!

xoxo, Megan

ANXIETY | AN UPDATE.

I don’t know where to begin.

I’ve been doing well, for the most part. I’ve been trying to put my health first – and everything else has been on the back burner. Including this blog. However, I’ve struggled a lot in the past few months. Which is why I’m sitting in my house, alone, waiting for my family to return from our churches Easter service.

As of approximately eight months ago, every time I walk for longer than ten minutes, my lower back hurts so badly that it’s truly unbearable. In January, my doctor put me on ibuprofen and a muscle relaxer. Neither helped. So, recently, I went back and he (finally) did x-rays and determined that I have a bulging disc, and scoliosis. I’m set to begin physical therapy very soon – and if that doesn’t work, we’re going to look into other treatment options which, unfortunately, include spinal surgery. I’ve been stressed out about this for eight months – and the idea of having back surgery has simply made me stress even more.

My psychiatrist put me on a new medication for my bipolar disorder a few months ago; and I had a very nasty reaction. My heart would pound, I lost my breath very easily, and I would feel jittery and weak. My arm would go numb, and I thought I was having a heart attack at one point. So, I went to the emergency room only to be told that it was my new medication and, thank the Lord, not a heart attack.

And lastly, I went to Tennessee with my two older sister’s and my best friend three weeks ago for a youth conference. However, my anxiety went through the roof upon realizing that I would have to be in one large room with thousands of people. So, I spent most of the trip in our hotel room and only went to one of the many meetings.

Moral of this story – we all have struggles. We all have bad moments, bad days, bad weeks, bad months, and bad years. That doesn’t matter. The way we come out of those bad times is what matters. We can come out of them feeling negative, and angry, and upset. Or, we can be positive and we can learn from our troubles.

I hope you all are doing well. If you’re not, keep the faith and know that there is always a light at the end of every tunnel.

xoxo, Megan

 

2017 GOALS! (What I Want To Do Before I’m 20)

Coming back to my blog after two months away, I had no idea what to write about. SO MUCH had happened in my life since last October. I’ve come a long way with my mental health, and my 19th birthday happened, and Christmas came and went. 2016, otherwise known as the year from hell, was finally over. Yet, I wasn’t inspired to make a post about any of those things.

So, I sat down and decided to sit down and make a list of my goals for this brand new year.

  1. LOSE WEIGHT.
  2. DO AT LEAST ONE 7-DAY JUICE CLEANSE. (I tried last year and failed.)
  3. GET A PROPER JOB.
  4. START COLLEGE.
  5. BECOME A BETTER WRITER/BLOGGER.
  6. READ 50 BOOKS. (you can follow my goodreads account here if you’re interested: https://www.goodreads.com/megnicole97)
  7. START SAVING MONEY SO I CAN AFFORD MY OWN APARTMENT BEFORE I’M 20.
  8. SPEND MORE TIME WITH MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS.
  9. GET A TATTOO INSPIRED BY MY GRANDMOTHER.

In 2016, I learned that I have to have faith. In God, and in myself. I have to have faith that I will be able to meet all of these goals, and I have to have faith that, if I don’t, I won’t beat myself up. If I meet all nine of my goals, I’ll be happy. If I only meet one of my goals, I’ll be happy and I’ll try harder in 2018. And I hope those of you who have plans for this new year feel the same way.

xoxo, Megan