I don’t know where to begin.
I’ve been doing well, for the most part. I’ve been trying to put my health first – and everything else has been on the back burner. Including this blog. However, I’ve struggled a lot in the past few months. Which is why I’m sitting in my house, alone, waiting for my family to return from our churches Easter service.
As of approximately eight months ago, every time I walk for longer than ten minutes, my lower back hurts so badly that it’s truly unbearable. In January, my doctor put me on ibuprofen and a muscle relaxer. Neither helped. So, recently, I went back and he (finally) did x-rays and determined that I have a bulging disc, and scoliosis. I’m set to begin physical therapy very soon – and if that doesn’t work, we’re going to look into other treatment options which, unfortunately, include spinal surgery. I’ve been stressed out about this for eight months – and the idea of having back surgery has simply made me stress even more.
My psychiatrist put me on a new medication for my bipolar disorder a few months ago; and I had a very nasty reaction. My heart would pound, I lost my breath very easily, and I would feel jittery and weak. My arm would go numb, and I thought I was having a heart attack at one point. So, I went to the emergency room only to be told that it was my new medication and, thank the Lord, not a heart attack.
And lastly, I went to Tennessee with my two older sister’s and my best friend three weeks ago for a youth conference. However, my anxiety went through the roof upon realizing that I would have to be in one large room with thousands of people. So, I spent most of the trip in our hotel room and only went to one of the many meetings.
Moral of this story – we all have struggles. We all have bad moments, bad days, bad weeks, bad months, and bad years. That doesn’t matter. The way we come out of those bad times is what matters. We can come out of them feeling negative, and angry, and upset. Or, we can be positive and we can learn from our troubles.
I hope you all are doing well. If you’re not, keep the faith and know that there is always a light at the end of every tunnel.