MY FIRST YOUTUBE VIDEO!

Hi, friends!

Making a YouTube channel is something that I’ve been desperate to do for a very long time. I uploaded a video a few months ago, but it was only about two or three minutes long and it wasn’t anything special. I deleted it, and I’m starting anew.

I love books, and reading, and writing is also something that I really enjoy. I’m not certain if my channel can truly fit under the “Booktube” umbrella, as I’m going to post content that revolves around other topics, such as mental health and plus size fashion and my weight loss journey and more. But, it will be 90% book-ish. I can almost make a promise out of that.

I decided to do the Booktube Newbie Tag as my introduction video, and I really enjoyed filming and editing this for you all.

I hope you enjoy it!

xoxo,

Megan

BOOKTUBE AND SOCIAL MEDIA!

I don’t come on here and write as often as I’d like to, or as often as I know I should. There’s simply not enough time in each day for me to sit down, think and write out a thoughtful blog post. I am going to do better.

There will be days, maybe even weeks, where I don’t post here. But you can keep track of me through other platforms if you’re interested!

Instagram: meganwittyt
Twitter: meganwittyt
Goodreads: meganwittyt

And, tomorrow you will be getting a link to my very first Booktube (YouTube) video. My channel is going to consist of a wide variety of topics, but I will mostly be talking about reading and writing. I hope you join me on this brand new journey!

xoxo,

Megan

HOW I STAY POSITIVE WHEN EVERYTHING IS WRONG.

Recently, it has felt like my entire world has been crashing down around me.

I’ve been trying to find a job that would be easy enough for me to manage (with my bipolar disorder and severe anxiety), but I haven’t found one. I was taken to the hospital about a week ago and they (almost) sent me to the psych floor, but they let me go home with strict rules I am still following today. My sister was supposed to have a mass removed from her throat on Friday; she went to the hospital, they poked her several times trying to find a vein and they finally got an IV in her radial artery which caused a lot of nerve pain, and then they cancelled her surgery last minute for a silly reason. And now, I am struggling with a possible case of Bell’s Palsy for the second time in my life.

It’s safe to say, lately I have felt pretty hopeless. I have felt like a piece of paper being torn into shreds.

But, I am starting to come out of my “funk”, finally.

Here are a few things that I’ve done that has helped me become a more positive person. I hope you can learn something new, something that will bring you out of your sadness or anger or disappointment or whatever it is that you’re feeling.

ONE: ALLOW YOURSELF TO FEEL.

Every time it storms, it stops storming. Every time the sun goes down, it comes back up. Every time you get hurt, you heal. If you’re happy right now, that’s great! Enjoy your joy. On the other hand, if you’re angry or depressed or anxious, remember that everything in life is temporary. Don’t avoid your emotions; embrace them. They won’t last forever.

TWO: PUSH YOURSELF TO TAKE ANOTHER STEP.

This is the most important thing, for me. As someone who has suffered through being suicidal, and as someone who deals with anxiety and depression every day, I have learned that doing something new and brave helps me feel strong.

For example, I am overweight (and I am working to change that, but that isn’t my point right now) and I wore a two-piece swimsuit in front of my aunt and uncle and cousins today for the first time. That was me being strong and brave and proud. That was a huge step for me.

I’m looking into gym memberships and I’m hoping to start one up in a few weeks. I’ve never worked out in front of strangers.

I set goals, and I work to meet those goals. Personally, if I have nothing to look forward to, I focus on only the negativity in my life.

THREE: CHANGE YOUR THOUGHTS.

I’m still working on this one myself.

I think more negative thoughts than positive ones, every day of my life, but I know that if I change those negative thoughts into thoughts of happiness and love and light, I will be a much more joyful person.

Instead of thinking, “I’m so fat and ugly – that’s why I’m single. That’s why I can’t find a partner”, every time I look in the mirror, I should think, “I’m beautiful and kind and loving and I deserve to be happy. God will send me someone when the time is right.”

If I tell myself that I’m “fat and gross and unlovable” every day, my mind is forced to believe that it’s the truth. The same is factual for positive thoughts. And I’m learning to accept the fact that the positive should always overpower the negative.

FOUR: LOOK FOR SOMETHING SMALL TO APPRECIATE.

If you don’t have a great job, or you don’t have a body like the girl on the cover of your favorite magazine, or you’re single; you can still find something to appreciate every day. And you should.

A silly example; I appreciate the fact that I am getting a new tattoo in a few months. I appreciate the fact that it’s going to be a memorial tattoo for my four beautiful grandparents. I appreciate the fact that I have a house, and food in the pantry, and clothes on my back, and comfortable shoes on my feet.

Find at least one thing to smile about in every day.

AFTERTHOUGHTS…

I have found happiness, and then lost it, and then found it, and then lost it, time and time again. And every time I find it; it’s more incredible than the last time.

YOUR TURN…

What makes you feel good during life’s difficult moments? Leave a comment below and share your tips and tricks! I’d be glad to learn something new.

xoxo, Megan

BOOK BABBLE: UNDER ROSE-TAINTED SKIES!

I have gotten behind on my reading recently. Books that I purchased weeks, months, even years ago, got lost in the disarray that was my bedroom. But, I purchased a new bookshelf and purged many of the unwanted things that kept my personal space cluttered beyond what any person could ever withstand, and now I’m able to get back to what brings me such joy — reading, and writing, and feeling at peace in my comfort zone that wasn’t very comfortable for quite a long time.

I’m not going to call this a review. I’m going to call this a “babble” because that’s what I’m doing. Babbling about something that has brought so much happiness into my life.

I picked up Under Rose-Tainted Skies by Louise Gornall last night, and I finished it today. It took me less than 24 hours to read 326 pages when I haven’t read more than 50 pages in the last few months.

Norah’s struggle reminded me very much of my own. Do I have OCD or Agoraphobia? Nope. I don’t. But, I do have anxiety, and I do find it difficult (often impossible) to leave my house some days. For the longest time, I would only leave once a week to see my therapist. I have self-harmed in the name of finding control. I have pushed away many of my friends, and I have struggled with facing them again. Before now, I had never read a novel about mental illness. Now that I have, I want to read every novel about mental illness. Finding a character that you can relate to on such a deep level is thrilling.

Luke reminded me of an old friend. A boy I fell in love with, a few years ago. I was scared to tell him about my struggles, so afraid he would tease or just stop being my ‘pal’ as we liked to call one another. I never told him everything, but I told him what I felt was necessary for a possible boyfriend to know. He was supportive and kind, and I appreciate the time I spent with him. He’s no longer in my life. Not every story ends happily. But, I feel such joy knowing that I had my very own Luke, even if only for a short while.

Norah’s mom and my mom are so similar, it almost scares me. How did Louise Gornall meet my mother and create a character inspired by her without me ever knowing it? Soft, and kind, and loving, and my safety net. That’s what my mother is to me, and that’s what Norah’s mother is to her. God blessed me with the most beautiful mom a wack-job like me could ever hope for.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve assumed that after enough years of swallowing pills and going to therapy every week, I’d be healed. Cured. “Normal” at last. This book helped me realize that (a) “normal” isn’t a real thing, (b) our differences make us beautiful, (c) we’re worthy of being loved despite our struggles, (d) we can overcome everything this life throws our way.

I’m thankful for Norah’s story. I’m thankful for Louise. I’m thankful for the power of literature.

I’m positive some things could have been handled better within this book. This isn’t me saying that there aren’t flaws, or that it’s a perfect work of art. It is not. But it touched me in a way that a book hasn’t in over a year, and I appreciate the way I felt during the hours I spent reading it.

If you haven’t read this beautiful novel, I suggest you do so immediately. If you have, I’d like to know your opinion, good or bad. If you have any book recommendations for me, I’d be happy to add a few more to my bookshelf.

xoxo, Megan

A CHANGE.

Martha’s Granddaughter is so special to me. When I lost my grandma in 2016, I created this blog and used it as a bit of a release. It gave me something to do, something to put my time towards, so I didn’t sit around and think about the weight in my chest constantly. Martha’s Granddaughter brought me such joy and peace during one of the most difficult trials I’ve ever been through, and I will forever love it for that.

However, as I’ve grown and changed in the year since her death, I’ve come to realize that the name Martha’s Granddaughter doesn’t fit the theme of the blog I’m going for now. I don’t see this as a release anymore. I don’t view this blog as being my escape from reality.

I have anxiety, and I very often fear change. At the same time, I (not-so-often) crave change. I need something new and different and exciting to keep me going. So, that’s why I decided to change the name of this blog to Megan Witt.

I’m going to continue to write about my life, and my love of books, and God, and my future. I’m preparing to go to college in the next year; I’ll write about that a lot. I sincerely hope you stick around and go on this crazy journey with me.

xoxo, Megan

 

TRUSTING GOD IN THE MIDST OF A STORM!

Recently, I read this quote; “God will ALWAYS give us more than WE can handle. But He will never give us more than HE can handle.

First, I was diagnosed with a little something called Sinus Tachycardia. Basically, my heart doesn’t always do what it should.

Then, I was diagnosed with very severe Sleep Apnea. I was told that I stopped breathing fifty-seven times an hour, every hour, every night. Apparently, I’m lucky to be alive. I’ve been trying (and failing) to learn to sleep with a CPAP (Continuous Positive Airway Pressure) machine for the last month.

I was dealing with severe abdominal pain last month, and I had to have an Upper Endoscopy so my Gastroenterologist could find out what was causing me to suffer.

And most recently, I was diagnosed with Migraines and High Blood Pressure.

If that sounds like a lot, that’s because it is. But, I have so much to thank Jesus for.

I could have died a long time ago because of my Sleep Apnea. My heart disorder could have been much more severe; I could’ve had a heart attack, as they run in my family. I’m not healthy, and I’m struggling, but I don’t have cancer. I’m not fighting for my life.

Even when my life is hard, and I wish some things were different, I have so much to thank my God for. He is good. He is worthy of my praise.

It took me a long time to learn to lean on Him in the midst of the storm. It wasn’t an easy mountain to overcome. How did I do it?

  1. I read the Bible, even when I didn’t want to.
  2. I prayed every day, even when I felt as though I had been robbed of every last bit of my faith.
  3. I listened to worship music.
  4. I listened to other people’s testimonies and learned from their struggles.
  5. Most importantly: I DIDN’T GIVE UP.

If I can do it, so can you. It takes effort, and it isn’t always a walk in the park, but it’s worth it in the end. If you lean on God, and you live for Him, then He will see you through any trial you face.

How do you keep your faith strong even in the midst of the storm? I would love to hear about it!

xoxo, Megan

BOOK REVIEW: A COURT OF THORNS AND ROSES!

Book Title: A Court of Thorns and Roses
Author: Sarah J. Maas
My Rating: ★★★★★

a-court-of-thorns-and-roses

I’ll be honest with you. I got this book for Christmas last year (2016) and it took me AGES to finally pick it up and finish it. I tried TWICE to read it – TWICE – and ended up putting it back down both times because I’m assuming I just wasn’t in the mood for it. I’d been in a reading slump for a pretty long time. I read Stalking Jack the Ripper late last year, I read The Fault In Our Stars earlier this year, and I read Everything, Everything last month. That’s it. I didn’t put the book down twice because I hated it, or because it was a horrible book. I put it down twice because I just wasn’t in the mood to read in general.

But, I’ve been very excited for A Court of Thorns and Roses ever since I first discovered it last year, so I decided to try again! And I did the thing! I finished it! I’m so proud of myself, and so beyond happy. Before I was even 50% done with this novel, I went out to Barnes and Noble and purchased A Court of Mist and Fury! I can’t wait to start it! Then, I’ll have an excuse to buy A Court of Wings and Ruin! I’m so looking forward to enjoying this world and these characters even more.

I loved A Court of Thorns and Roses for so many reasons. I’d heard that it was a Beauty and the Beast re-telling; that’s what initially drew me to it. That, and the book cover. Side note: red is my favorite color, ever!

I was hooked after reading the first five pages. I enjoyed every second I spent reading this novel. The storyline was constructed very well, and the pace was good. I have nothing negative to say in regards to the plot. I think Sarah J. Maas is a genius.

The characters are the very best part of this story if you ask me. I love Feyre; she is strong and she is weak at the same time. She would do anything – from hunting for food to risking her own life – to keep the people she loves safe and happy. Tamlin is such a charming, powerful, lovable character. Lucien, my personal favorite, brought a sense of humor to the novel. There are many, many evil and cruel characters who you hate to love and love to hate.

This novel is filled with a beautiful storyline, wonderful characterization, action, and anticipation which will keep you glued to the edge of your seat. And, if you’re anything like me, you’ll have the second book at the ready so you can pick it up as soon as you read the last sentence of this one.

I hope you enjoyed this gorgeous book as much as I did! Let me know your thoughts below.

xoxo, Megan